The both of us lovely bloggers are in job-induced long distance romantic relationships. But our relationships could not be more different, especially in how other people see them.
Sarah is in love with her childhood sweetheart, a young man who found himself employed in the expanding oil fields in North Dakota. For those of you who might not be familiar, the life of an oil field worker is not an easy one. The long hours and dangerous environment do not make for an easy life, which in turn makes maintaining relationships (of any kind) difficult. For Sarah, the life they have chosen has been more difficult than I could ever bear. Long silences where the job requires attention, difficult moves to places even further away than before, and so little vacation time to be together.
At face value our relationships are very similar. John, my man of choice, is a member of the United States Air Force. His long hours and dangerous environment do not make for an easy life, which in turn has placed stress on our relationship. There are silences, and we are now further apart than we ever imagined being. I am fortunate in that John's job is (mostly) forgiving, allowing time for us.
And that is where the similarities stop. Here is where life has been unfailingly cruel to my dear Sarah.
When people see my relationship, they see a couple sacrificing their own happiness for the sake of our country. Our sad moments are met with sympathy and support, and our triumphs celebrated (the big ones anyway) with pomp.
"It is so wonderful to see a young couple so dedicated to their lives together."
But for Sarah, who has given up so much more than I for the sake of love, there is none of this. When people ask her about any young men in her life, they are taken aback at the distance, astonished that she would choose such a life for herself. So many ignore the effort and the love that she pours into this relationship, choosing instead to be critical and judgmental.
And this is not fair.
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